The tale begins with our hero: Assmaster (named by the unknown player) as he begins his journey into the land of ARGGGGGGGG. Due to a lack of weapons and an overabundance of would be heroes (for now) he’s given a lead pipe and sent on his merry way. Along his trip he’ll meet up with characters such as Pink-Haired-Anime-Fangirl and Painfully Cool Guy, battle invincible foes such as Catberus the three headed kitty from hell.

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Name: Assmaster (the hero)
Age: 17
Level: 1
Orientation: Straight

Appearance:
Hair Color: Brown
Eye Color: Brown
Hair Style: Short but disheveled
Height: 6’0”
Weight: 180 lbs
Clothing: White Wife-beater, green/brown fatigue pants, dark brown military boots

Class: Warrior
Passive Traits: Strength +2
Active Traits: Bash 2x damage attack, single enemy

Equipment:
Body: Clothes (No Bonus)
Right Hand: Lead Pipe (Str +12)

Likes: Better Games
Dislikes: This Game

Current Quests:
Level Up
Find Item: Rename Card

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Name: Sakura (Pink-haired-anime-fangirl)
Age: 16
Level: 1
Orientation: Unknown (Presumed Straight)
Appearance:
Hair Color: Bright Pink
Eye Color: Green
Hair Style: Neck length with a ponytail
Height: 5’2”
Weight: Don’t ask (Slender)
Clothing: Japanese Schoolgirl Outfit

Class: Thief
Passive Traits: Speed +2, Two-Handed
Active Traits: Steal, single enemy

Equipment:
Body: Clothes (No Bonus)
Left Hand: Single Dagger (Str +4, Spd +6)
Right Hand: Single Dagger (Str +4, Spd +6)

Likes: Stereotypes, Feminine Boys, Sephiroth , Kitties, Japan
Dislikes: Her Boobs (wishes they where bigger)

Current Quests:
Level Up
Finding Her “Bishie”

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Name: Catberus
Age: “Catberus is eternal, mortal.”
Level: Unknown
Orientation: “Catberus cares not for mortal things.”
Appearance:
A small housecat with three heads, Left Head: Black, Middle Head: Grey, Right Head: White; Body: Calico.
Eye Color: Yellow

Class: Monster
Passive Traits: Immortality (Cannot be harmed/banished/etc)
Active Traits: Devour (Instantly Kill any tiny – small creature) Meteor Level 15 (800 set damage to any single target)

Equipment: None

Likes: Tuna, String, Sleeping, And world destruction
Dislikes: Humans

Current Quests:

Eat
Destroy The World
Nap
Poop

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page 1:
Assmaster standing next to his name
System Message: Name your Character.
Assmaster: Oh that’s just great…

page 2:
just a background of a medieval style town
Large message in the middle: Welcome to the world of ARRRGGGGGGGG

page 3:
Assmaster is inside an single room house with an elderly man.

Old man: Oh great another “hero”… well let me just get you your starting equipment *starts looking around*

Assmaster: So, there are a lot of heroes in this game?

Old man:… yeah, everyone seems to be getting in on it since we’re overrun with monsters and people figure it’s easier than normal work… Monsters crap gold when they die you know.

Assmaster: wait wut?

Old man: You’ve played this sort of game before right, you’re not a n00b are you?

Assmaster: Yeah, but they crap gold?

Old man: Hell if you hit them right they’ll hurl up items sometimes too, you didn’t think you where just taking their wallets did you?

Assmaster:Well… yeah something like that.

Old man: Humph, kids these days… don’t know nuthin… Anyway *continues to rummage through junk* This is all I can give you, we’re a bit tapped out right now. *Hands Assmaster a lead pipe* Take these too

System: You recieve Items: Lead Pipe, Potion, Gold x5

Assmaster: Great I’m sure I won’t die with this… much… *Standing in the doorway*

Old man: Good luck… *under his breath* n00b

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Just putting this here so I can find it all in one spot, if you know an artist twisted enough, send ‘em my way.